18 Why Me?

I don't get it. Why do I have to go to the shrink? I been doing fine, causing no trouble, making my rounds. I saw that social worker girl talking to the Latte Heaven people. I thought she was just having a coffee like any old customer, but maybe Tony was right.

"Isn't that your boss?" he asked. We were sitting with our carts on the bench outside the coffee shop.

"Huh?"

"That girl." He tilted his head just barely, like it was hush hush. Finally I saw her, Eva.

"My boss?" I never thought of her that way.

"You better watch out," he said. I looked at her out of the corner of my eye. She paid, then sat down at a table with her coffee and spread out some papers.

"See?" Tony nudged me.

"See what?" I whispered, still didn't get it. Redhair brought her a pastry. All normal. Then Redhair sat down. Not normal.

"See? See!?" Tony stared at me. I stared at them. They were talking and looking at the papers, smiling at each other. Maybe they were friends? My stomach wasn't feeling too good.

"Yer in for it," Tony said unhelpfully. They were still talking as Tony and I stood up. I saw the skinny guy come over to them just before we were gone. Tony was shaking his head and muttering.

But nothing bad happened. Except that the next time I went to Welfare, she said I get to see the shrink and handed me an appointment paper like it was nothing unusual. Dr Abbott on Thursday at 3PM. I wish I said No, but I didn't.

Later everybody looked at me funny, like they knew. So what, bozos? I'm thinking. Big deal. I'm not afraid of a doctor, especially not a shrink. What can they do to you anyway?

Tanya used to love her shrink. Love, love, love. That's a bad sign. Whatever Tanya loves is not for me. Do the guys go to shrinks? If they do, they don't mention it. They talk about their probation officers though. Maybe a probation officer is a shrink for guys.

I know there are shrinks in lockdown. Oh, no! What if I'm going to lockdown?! I've never been out there. I stare hard at the appointment paper. No, this appointment is at the Welfare office on Townsend. The lockdown ward is at the hospital somewhere else. Calm down, Betty. Calm, calm, calm. I am being so calm that I crash into Marianne's cart.

"Whoa there, podna," she says. Wow. I haven't seen Marianne in a long time.

"Oh, sorry." I back off and stuff the appointment paper in my pocket.

"What ya got there, hon?" She sits on the bench like she owns it.

'Oh, nothing," I say as I sit down beside her. Marianne is huge, not fat but tall and strong looking. She has confidence. Not that wild confidence that Cal has. Marianne is more substantial. When she goes off, it's more like she curls into a ball and hides inside herself. Haven't seen that in a long time. I'll bet she knows about shrinks.

"Oh, that's a good thing," she says when I show her the appointment paper.

"It is?" Marianne starts tidying up her cart, something she does a lot. Her cart is small and always looks suitable. The wheels never squeal or get jammed, and nothing falls off.

"You bet," she says. "It means you're worth looking into." This does not sound good to me. She pats me on the hand. "Every time I've done the shrink, I get a job or into a house. I even got my hair done once." She pats her hair and looks around in a glamorous way which makes both of us chuckle. Mary Ann has been out of here a few times, so I believe her, even the hair part. But what has this got to do with me?

"Hmmm," she squints at the paper. "Dr. Abbott...I never can remember the names." She gives me back the paper. We notice some of the guys approaching. I copy Marianne as she goes into her pose: head up, hands on knees, foot touching the cart, eyes shut (almost).

"Booduh! Booduh!" they start chanting when they see us. I would never get away with this on my own, but I'm with Marianne. They pass on by and the chanting gets fainter until it's gone. "Boodah, boodahhhhhh ..."